Matt Morgan

Name: Matt Morgan

Debut: Engineers Autumn 1998

Honours: Intra-mural league winner 1999, 2000, 2001; Teddy’s 10s winner 2003; Brussels 10s finalist 2004; Tallinn 10s winner 2005, Turner prize winner, Edinburgh 2001

Tries: 23

Mythological cousin: Morgane le Fay

Personality-change new-friends, “I reckon I’m such an arsehole on booze” gas merchant Matt Morgan is a fervent god-botherer, and takes very seriously Jesus’ exhortation for those with two shirts to give one away – in Tallinn he kindly donated all his clothes to those less fortunate than him. He frequently sleeps in cars or corridors in sub-zero temperatures so he can empathise with tramps. Matt takes such clothes as he does own very seriously, and can be seen wearing “Matt’s shit jacket” in this picture. Matty Morgan is an anagram of Mr. Torn Gay Man. The Gas Act 1986 established a number of gas boards, and Matt Morgan - gaseous even at room temperature, like Jupiter and Saturn, Matt is constituted of 90% gaseous substances. Matt is a great man to have in the team as you can always rely on him to really get behind the boys (if you'll pardon the homophobic slur and the split infintive). Fans of King Arthur will be well acquainted with Matt's ancestor: Morgan Le Fay, who lived at the bottom of a lake and "dispensed his treasures to whom he liked." As for Matt, his favourite character from mythology is Narcissus, who fell in love with himself when he saw his reflection in a river, and was turned into an echo or something.

Matt is a utility back.