Phil Haworth

Name: Phil Haworth Debut: the first game ever, Manor Hall 1996 Honours: Grand-daddy of the Hands. Wandering Hands Founder; Captain 1996-1998. Intra-mural champion 1997 and 1998; Teddy's 10s 2003 winner; Brussels 10s finalist 2004; Tallinn 10s 2005 winner; Teddy's 7s 2005 plate winner. Tries since 1998: 4

In-from-the-start jammy swarthy not-a-proper-lawyer-anyway seven-seas-sailing Phil Haworth is no stranger to self-congratulation: on one occasion Phil's boss noted with irritation that Phil said "Well done me" 16 times during a single five-minute chat about what Phil had got up to that weekend. Phil has nothing to do with Rita Hayworth, although his wife Suzy recently came home early and surprised Phil who was all dressed up like a 50s film star and was preening himself in the mirror. Phil is the oldest hand. Incredibly, Phil is old. For no particular reason, it has been decided that Phil is a retired pirate "so let it be written, so let it be done" (that's from the Bible, you know). An arts snob, Phil was Shakespeare's biggest fan "until everyone else got into him after Hamlet. I reckon his earlier stuff was loads better," he says, airilyPhil plays in the back row.